Love and priorities

Giving more importance to one's own parents than the partner can lead to family issues. We tries to align our priorities' order with our order of love. Every family has their precious time of togetherness where the parents take care of their children, work for the family, go to movies together and play with them at the beach. But that time is limited. As the children grow older, they are destined to build their own family. And when they marry and have children, the priority should be for them. Each one of the family has to accept this and embrace the change. 

We are part of various families in our lifetime. Play and gently enjoy the role.

Photo by Patricia Prudente on Unsplash

An evening at Ulavypu.

Last sunday I went to a birthday party. It was at Cherthala. The celebrations has finished by 4 and I had some time to kill. I thought I'd hang around the place for a while. Google suggested me this place called Ulavaypu which is just 2km from my location. A description of what I saw.

A gentle breeze from the lake...
The coconut grooves next to the lake...
and the country roads in between...
children playing cricket in the empty paddy fields...
The nostalgic picture of Chachan...
youngsters celebrating onam with bottles and Marshall..

Do what you love...

Many runs after what is trending in the industry. The problem with that is trends will change frequently and we will become good at everything i.e nothing. The world needs all kind of experts, whether it is software tester, sweeper or trainer. So be good at what you do. In my twenties, I have this notion that English language is crucial and I spend time to improve my language skills. I am now good at speaking but I lost plenty of time which I could have used to improve my expertise in programming from good to great. 

Recently I read a blog post on LinkedIn that shows the dangers of running after AI. Many academicians and amateur engineers are running after the current trend of AI. The truth is that our ego is deceive us. AI and machine learning are difficult subjects to learn. So there is a false belief that those who knows these subjects are brilliant and possess higher IQ. 

Need motivation - look back | sometimes only you can help you

I am grateful for what I have. Blessed with a family, surrounded by beautiful people in my personal and professional circles, a job that can pay my bills and a home to sleep in ( and to accumulate all useless stuff 😁). But at times I feel lost and my motivational levels go down.

I followed many leadership gurus. Robin Sharma, Vishen Lekiani, David Goggins, Jordan Peterson and many others. Yes, their ideas helped me a lot. But the person who can motivate you the most is none other than you. When you need motivation just think about why you came so long to this point. You could have dropped it on the way. But you struggled and reached here. Yes, there were times when we were emotionally down, lazy, and professionally weak. But those times will also go away. As Steve Jobs once quoted. You cannot connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them by looking backwards. Follow your intuitions. Your brain or your intellect is limited. Don't rely much on it. Living using your brain will not take you so long. But your heart is aware of what you need, what is your purpose, your future, even your next life (if there is any) and everything. That is why we have intuitions. Life will be full of perplexing situations.

Photo by Cristofer Maximilian on Unsplash

Mahal Foods Biriyani hut - food spots

Today I visited a restaurant on my food spots list - Mahal Foods Biriyani Hut Kollam. I had chicken biriyani. It was an above-average biriyani. I will give a 3/5 for the biriyani ( and 4/5 for biriyani from Grand hotel, Aluva). It was not a crowded place as I expected. Hardly 10 people were there and only chicken biriyani was available. It is 4km away from the bypass road.

Top down approach - start from a problem statement not from a tool

Course completion posts are frequent in Linkedin. Never have I seen any updates like “I have completed this Project”. As a software engineer, I have done many courses on software languages like Python, Javascript, Flutter, Angular, etc. After these many years in the industry, I think this approach won’t get us anywhere. It is a good approach as a beginner when we are out of college or to get a job. Whatever we have learned will be forgotten if not practiced daily. What I am suggesting is a top down approach.

First, we need to conceive an idea that we can do - a problem which worth solving. It can be a collaborative project involving like-minded people or a single-man project. Design the system and then learn the required technologies. The purpose of the project will always keep us motivated. In this way, we can gain lots of experience. And who knows one day it may grow into a multi-billion platform like Facebook or Instagram.

Top down approaches gives us experiences on various realms such as time management, product management, sales, marketing, implementation best practices, etc.

Signal

Unless signal come up with a strategy, they cannot win. It will end like Google Plus. Signal can work with governments to provide local setup of Signal for the communication of government employees. In this way they can gain trust and slowly get into other realsm. Look at how Facebook grow when Orkut hold the majority of the people share.

Relations

To me, human connections are fostered through emotions, not through blood relations. Whether it is mother, father, brother, sister, wife, or child,.. any relationship is weak unless it has an emotional quotient. Mother-baby relationship is the only relationship which is connected through blood and emotions from the beginning and it happends godly without any effort. I conciously surround myself with people who are emotionally connected to me. Never did I  bother of naming a relation for the sake of convincing the society. They were there for me and I will be there for them.

What happened to my minimalistic lifestyle

I used to be a minimalist. But now anymore. I own five headphones - one for the laptop, one for iPhone(its jack is unique), one for the sony mp3 player which I used for jogging and the Bluetooth headset that I used with the iPhone earlier. I have five or six watches. Despite my donating almost all my dresses that I have not used in years I still have a rack full of clothes, two helmets ( for a single head), five pairs of shoes and Six bag packs!!.  And then it is ridiculous to call me a minimalist. Actually, where did I go wrong? 

Most of them I purchased on the spur of the moment. What I learned is never to purchase something when we want it. Purchase when we need it and only when a purchase is the last option.

Lies by the government

Patriotism: It is a tool that is instilled in the citizens ( and in the military ) so that they are scapegoats of the government. I have huge respect and admiration for the military. But it is disappointing that they are nurtured to be a victim of politicians' vested interests. 

Tax: They say that the taxes are levied to finance the government activities such as public works, construction of roads, and better medicare, for the welfare of the poor people. But the reality is, that this money is used to feed the government officials. The total expenditure on pay and allowances was almost 2 lakh crore in 2017-18 for 30 Lakh govt employees. Considering the population which is 138 crore, each citizen who is not a government employee has to contribute around Rs: 2000/- per year to feed this privileged class. The accelerating fuel price and income tax can be attributed to this.

Vote: We have two choices in our elections - either vote for the worst or someone who is next to the worst. Literally, we don't have a choice.  Ours is a society that begs for loaves of bread. Here can see citizens begging in front of politicians for their rights. Can we see this in a developed country?

Showcase to bookshelf

Ours is an old home built-in 1995. We had this showcase which is out of the fashion these days and we have some books which were scattered on a table shelf. Many of them have been damaged over time. So I thought why would we use this showcase as a bookshelf.  

Couldn't keep all of them but at least that space was well used. The Krishna idol belongs to my sister in law. I am not religious.

Store personal data locally

 It doesn't make sense to store all our personal data on a cloud that is situated in a different country. When usability becomes a priority over privacy we rely on the giants like Google, Amazon, Apple, Facebook, etc. and trust them with our personal data. But that is not a long term solution considering the huge volume of data that is generated daily. The providers can hike the prices of the cloud when they have enough of our data. We need our own alternatives. We can make our own low-cost cloud at home and sync our data locally. With a static IP and open source tools we can even sync to our set-up remotely. I am planning to create such a setup for my own use. I will update the details on the fly.

There are a lot of challenges:

• Should have sufficient backups of our data locally. ( atleast three dard disks ).
• Should be powered and connected to internet all time if it is accessed remotely. Also need a static IP.
• Security issues with static IP.
• Mobile softwares required

I have a desktop PC that I am planning to use for this. Not started yet - will update the details soon.

Places to visit

 Places to visit

Food Spots

Food connects people (and social networks disconnects). When I moved to Kerala, one of my bucket list entries was to relish local and exotic cuisine here. I often wished I had a list of good hotels when traveling with family. There are a lot of apps out there, but they are either biased or not to my liking. This is a list of food spots that I have compiled from food vlogs / blogs. I will be using 'Google My Maps' to list them and will be reviewing once I visit.

This list will be updated over time.

I got these spots from Food and Travel by Ebbin Jose youtube channel.

Reviews

These are just my reviews. 

• Calicut Note Book - Ernakulam: Had Porotta, butter chicken and beef fry with coffee. The food was delicious but a bit costly. The coffee there is worth relishing.

Seasons and fruits - Draft

Today while relishing a watermelon at home I had this thought. Our land is blessed with a variety of fruits yet we are searching for exotic ones. We are blinded by the famous marketing quote "An apple a day keeps the doctor away". I once read somewhere that the best fruits are the ones that grow and are available nearby - not sure though. The best fruits for our bodies are the ones that grow in the same climate. This is a list of seasonal fruits that is available in various months. 

1. January: Watermelon
2. February: Watermelon, Jack fruit
3. March: Watermelon, Jack fruit
4. April: Watermelon, Mango, Jack fruit
5. May: Mango
6. June
7. July
8. August: Pappaya
9. September: Pappaya
10. October: Pappaya
11. November: Pappaya
12. December: Watermelon

Listening is the antidote to ego

Lack of listening is one of the most common traits of people with a high ego. Their world views will be narrow. They will be contemplating what they have to tell next when others speak and forgets to pay attention to the speaker. Gradually this inattention becomes part of their character that adversely affects their lives. What if we do not listen to our partner? Listening strengthen relationships. It allows us to feel others' experiences which can broaden our perspective. It is like reading a book. 

My reading list - 2022

I have been wanting to make a list like this for a long time. 

1. Land of the Seven Rivers by Sanjeev Sanyal, Currently Reading
2. The story of my life by Helen Keller, Currently Reading
3. Shoe Dog, Phil Knight, Not Started 

Mission failed. Try again.

 It is been almost 3 months since the 100 days of running is finished successfully. I became a little lazy after that. Busy being busy my food, sleep and work habits started to deteriorate. So today (7 March 2022) I started again with a short walk. Walked without any distractions - no music, no podcast. It was fun. I could focus more on my surroundings - the passture of green on the sideways, the houses, the lake, the guy selling hand made toys. 

This time it is 365 days of running and 365 days of quality sleep.

Days when I could not run

March: 10, 12, 13, 14, 15 to 24,

Work anniversary - draft

Today I completed one year at the current company. It was an year that broadened my perspective. I had a new outlook to my personal as well as my professional life. Shifting to a private organisation from a government entity was challenging. The work culture is quite different here. Being a product based company my current organisation is focused more solving the issues or adding new features to the product and I was able to learn new areas of SDLC. A methodical approach to work with sprints, agile, standup, retro, etc made work from home effortless.

Some random thoughts

Be what you actually are..

"All human beings have three lives: public, private, and secret." -García Márquez

Truly a thoughtful quote. We all have those three lives. The contrast among them is the basis of serenity or problems in our relationships. A charismatic personality can be acted out for a while. But deep relationships won't foster. We are born to make mistakes and learn from them. Even in our personal lives, we can make mistakes. I have seen many in my life who are desperately craving attention. Dusk till dawn they are acting their lives, finally gets exhausted and ends in depression. Yes, we all have that trait in ourselves. But it should be in our control.  

On homes and dress

We buy homes not because we need them but because we can convince others that we are capable. Homes are becoming store rooms of possessions that we don't use.  Who need more than 7 pairs of dress at a time but our wardrobes are full and out of space with our cloths. It is a misconception that new = happiness. In 2019 my resolution was to not buy a new dress. Since then I limited my dresses to less than 10 at a time and donated the remaining. I am not a miser. Instead of buying 4 low-quality jeans I now buy a good-quality ones.

Honesty

Whether it is personal or professional, honesty is what makes any relationship strong. We all are vulnerable, and we all have our weak moments. By honesty, I didn't mean to say everything out in public.  Not telling frequent lies is also honesty. I watch my surroundings and the people nearby pretty well. And I get it easily when someone lies. Though I pretend like I believed everything that they said, it deeply hurts when the person involved is someone whom I care about.

Chapters in our lives

 Many a time, unexpected events will happen in our lives that change the course of our life. It is through them the main chapters of our lives are written. Until the age of seventeen, my father was the one who made important decisions in my life. But after joining the degree course most of my decisions were taken by myself. Akapparambu, KSEB Quarters, Assissi School, Model School - these were the main chapters in my childhood.

The day the engineering entrance exam result came, I called my classmate. He said that he was going to join Amrita College of Engineering. I hadn't even heard of that college back then. I tool joined the same college. That was the beginning of a chapter in my life - Amrita. A couple of months after joining there, I got a higher option to a Government college in Palakkad. That was due to a wrong decision that I made before joining Amrita. But as soon as I realised it I sent a cancellation letter to the Entrance department. I came back home from Amrita very disappointed. But then I got this receipt of the cancellation form from the entrance department. With that, I was able to continue at Amrita itself. Just a receipt decided the remaining course of my life. That govt college was nothing compared to Amrita.

So after Amrita, I came back home with a degree. A degree without a job is more painful than not having a degree at all. For a few months, I worked for a construction firm of my cousin. Then I got a temporary job at KSEB Kurumassery as a Substation assistant. Meanwhile, I happen to see an advertisement for a diploma course at CDAC Trivandrum. I along with my friend joined that course. It was 2008. By September the course was over. But we didn't go home. We stayed there at Trivandrum and kept trying for a job. That time CDAC called for vacancies and most of my friends from the institute applied. I was exhausted after applying and being turned down for many jobs. So this time I did not show much interest. On the last day of application, my friend reminded me again and reluctantly I applied. We went to Chennai together to attend the exam and I got selected. That was the beginning of one of the longest chapters of my life - CDAC and Chennai.

I got married in 2016 - of course, a new chapter has begun. We were blessed with my little girl five years after marriage. Due to some reasons I was looking for a job change and wanted to come back to Kerala. Meanwhile, I had a conference call with friends from Amrita. One of them informed me about vacancies in his company. I got selected and two months after the baby was born, I returned to Kerala. It was 2021 January. Another chapter has begun with a phone call.

It is now 2022 January. I am on work from home. Jumping between mine and my in-laws' house. My kid has turned one. Happily do my professional and personal work from home.  Looking forward to the chapters that are in store for me.

100 days of running

I started running on last year September 15. The plan was to run 5 km daily for 100 consecutive days and I failed successfully!. But you know failures gives us good experiences. Here is some of my thoughts on it

• Count down started on Sep 15th: I planned it and scheduled it in my calendar. Each day when I look at my calendar, I get this feeling that I am one day closer to my goal. Though I scheduled it in the mornings, eventually it went to the bottom of the priority list and became the last event of the day - usually at night.
• Why publish: Let everyone know of the challenge. We will be compelled to reach the goal. So let our friends and family know of this. Share it on facebook, twitter or instagram.
• About the gadgets: No mobile fewer distractions. Keep a basic mobile if it is absolutely necessary because it is difficult to run with a mobile. Wear a fitness tracker like Fitbit or Garmin that has inbuilt GPS. They can record the location, calories and the number of steps.
• Why different places: Running in the same place every day can deplete our enthusiasm. I used to drive to different places. Decide on a place before starting. Don't just take any random place. Select somewhere close to nature and calm. This one I am sceptical about. From my experiences what I learned is that we get bored easily if we run alone. It is more interesting if we have company. It doesn't have to be someone who runs along with us. A little girl sitting in the park playing with her dog can also motivate. Avoid highways - highways are flat and straight but it is very dangerous.
• No bag or other items in hand: If the primary goal is to run then avoid bags. Keep them in your vehicle or cycle. From my experience what I learned is bags will reduce the fun.
• The need for suitable costumes: There can be issues with thighs if you are a heavy person. The weight of shoes and the dress material can affect the performance. So get some sports wears which are made specifically for running. If you are too fatty avoid tight dresses. 
• Time doesn’t matter: It won't last long if we try to adhere strictly to the scheduled time. Be flexible. Change it according to the priority and availability of time. Deviating from your scheduled time is ok once in a while.
• No off on weekends.: It is an excuse. There is no holiday for the heart or brain so is for the workout. Run an extra mile on weekends if possible.
• Motivational music: From my personal experience what I learned is audiobooks are not a good listen while running. I am a kind of person who cannot focus on running and imagining at the same time. With books, you need to imagine. I tried and failed. So now I just listen to music. I prefer motivational music like Rocky or Rambo or audio extracted from motivational scenes from movies.

Many a time I lost interest in running and stopped it. Towards the end, I didn't run continuously for 20 plus days and still, I am not running. December 23 was the 100th day. This year I hope I can run more.